AUDACITY TO BE DIFFERENT

Never let the outer Noise drown you inner voice

This morning, I held my son’s hand as I prepare him for school and told him “You know, you don’t have to fit in, you know you have absolute right to be different?” He shook his head affirmatively.

This week, I had a lengthy discussion with an older friend on phone and I told him “I do not intend to raise normal kids”. By all standards, I want to raise a completely different kid from what the society is preaching.

I have often asked, who made some rules we are bending to? Why must I follow these rules?

My driver had an issue with my driving. He thinks it’s absurd to use two legs to drive an automatic car. “That is not how to drive automatic. Just use one leg to drive.” He blurted out. I looked at him and asked. Who made the rule?

I have been driving my automatic for two years with two legs and I have not killed anyone, I have not been arrested once and I have not broken any rules (Well, at least I have not been caught breaking any rules)

Majority of us are trying hard to fit into a non-existent rules ​that the society foist on us. We have not even asked the right questions. Why should I and why shouldn’t I? What would happen and what wouldn’t. We are just following the crowd.

And most times, because you dared to be different, because you dared to make your own rules, people will suddenly start picking fights. Like seriously, I don’t need to think the way you think. If you would ask me, I don’t want to think the way you think.

So, people try to pretend to be who they are not for years, they try to fit in and blend with the norm, they feel little and unfit to challenge the rules and ask questions that could lead to freedom.

People just blend in. They listen to the outer noise and neglect the inner voice. They lose their identity and when they realize it’s gone, it’s always late.

I do not know how I came about my “rebellious” attitude but I have always challenged rules. Some rules holding you back are non-existent.

Some ladies still think being single and buying a car will chase a husband material away. I rather think any man that will run because you have a car doesn’t operate on the same frequency with you. Echo and Noise isn’t the same thing.

Unknowingly, some of us are passing the same hindrance to our children. You tell your son to go to Church, he asked you why and you answered “Because I said so”. That is the dumbest answer to give an inquisitive child. You should tell them why they should go to church and not force them to go to church.

Just so we know, the society can never be better than the mindset of its inhabitants.

A growing society is a product of a growing mind. Don’t fit in. Be different.

...FRIENDS APART, DIGNITY IN LABOUR

When people come into my life, I don't let them go easily. I treasure every memory of them that I have left. I don't do friends but the few ones I have, I can literally "kill" for them.

As the norm, there are friends we have who are closer to us, there are those who have crossed the acquaintance line but they are still not our bosom friends. Back in the university, I kept quite a number of friends who were more than acquaintances.

There was this particular guy back then, I just liked him. Back then in school, something about him quietly screamed "Once a bad guy". I think I have asked him couple of times if he had his ear pierced and he said No but I saw the glaring signs.

I love guys with studs in their ears but not tattoos. My ex got a stud in his ear because of me. When I tried it with Tosin, he went spiritual speaking in diverse tongues. He said that thought was from a pit of HELL and any man that use stud will go to Hell-fire.

When I had my beautiful son, I wanted him to use stud and Tosin told me "I am free to go to Hell-fire alone but I shouldn't drag anyone along 
Sometimes, I wondered how we met sef.. lol

Sorry for the digression... Back to my story...

He was a friend to a friend and those guys were just like my faraway family. We bonded like family and it was usual for us to talk every now and then.

Two months back, I saw a fully dressed LASTMA guy walked out of a Bank as I tried to lock the car. He caught my attention. This guy looks perfectly like my University friend.

He saw me, took his eyes off and walked away. I did a double check. "I am not mistaken or am i?" I couldn't get an answer.

On my way out of the Bank, I told myself it wasn't him but someone who shared a striking resemblance with him. As I was driving off after the bank transaction, our eyes met again. He was at his duty point. He looked away. Completely ignored me. Oh, I missed my friend. I thought, as I drove off.

Today, I was around the area again and I saw him at his duty point. He was directing vehicles and there was a bit of traffic build-up.

I looked at him, except for the fact that he has added weight; he looked exactly like my University friend. I tried to check his ear out but I couldn't.

Immediately I got to his side, I asked if he was once a Ladokite. "Did you Schooled in Lautech?" I asked.

He smiled, took his hand into my car and shook my hand then he said "Lammy". I screamed. I actually screamed my lungs out.

It was quick. Cars were behind me and impatiently blaring. I drove off and suddenly this sadness enveloped me.

He knew me all along. He knew me when he saw me at the bank. He knew me when our eyes met again and he just acted like he didn't. Why will anybody do that? No, this is totally unacceptable.

I wanted to turn back and asked that we go out for lunch and catch up with life but it isn't worth it.

My friends should see me after many years of separation and feel comfortable slapping me and patting me at the same time. There is no point nurturing this friendship again.

Some things are better left as they were.

I feel sad though.

SmartWork Or HardWork

Let's have a cerebral discussion... We all can learn from each other.

I have always believed that so many factors contribute to what a child will turn out to be in life. Aside God-factor, I know the family a child is born into, The schools they attended, The friends they made, the neighborhood (environment and country inclusive) they grew up goes a long way to mold his future. This is my truth.

I also believe this goes a long way to determine the orientation of a child. Our generation had some training from our parents and that has changed our orientation. Some of us went to school carrying slates and chalks. Some had to cut grass for being late and some even had it rough fetching water from the stream.

This new generation will not understand majority of what we experienced. A slate makes no meaning to my son who got his own tablet at age 2. Washing clothes and fetching water makes no sense to my son because there is a washing machine and taps everywhere in the house that supply water. I deviated. Let’s get back to the discussion.

I started my education from a Public Primary school (Methodist Primary School) and I was told to withdraw because I was not staying in class. At age four, I went back home. For two years, I served my punishment by staying at home. At age six, my father did me a huge favour. He enrolled me in one of the best Private Nursery school in my state to start from Nursery one. You see, that singular favour changed my life. That singular favour molded me to be ME.

I met fantastic people there whose friendship I still have till date. My talents were discovered and I must say I was groomed to be the best. I remember my younger brother had a very rough time at Christ School until my dada changed his school to a private secondary school. That “Change” actually made him a PILOT today.

I however believe that we need to unlearn so many things. Some of us are becoming the parents our parents were. We are interchanging smart upbringing with hard upbringing. When we went to schools, we had it rough and tough. Teachers bullied us to silence. We were seen but not heard. University education was worse. Lecturers slept with a lot of girls and messed up their lives.

The country we lived in contributed to it. There is a culturally roadblock that says an elder is always right. There is culturally hurdle of silence. That empowered a lot of evil to thrive.

However, while we are still basking in the glory of the 18^th century, where a child needs to go to school and walk a long distance before he can get knowledge, some people are already living in the present. They sit at home or in the convenience of their offices and attend classes virtually. Online Virtual class, either real-time or recorded.

It’s however unfortunate that our children will also compete with these children who finds live easy and amusing just like we are competing with the likes of Zuckerberg. It’s hard to try to judge a child who grew up under a constrained environment with no opportunity to succeed with another who had life practically read out like a script.

See, it’s hard enough for us to raise kids in this clime. I have always loved Nigeria. Never has it crossed my mind to relocate but sincerely, I have thought about the future of my two kids in comparison with the same child in Canada or USA. I have told myself repeatedly that it’s a great disservice to expect the same excellent return from my son in comparison to a Jude’s son in Atlanta.

I then realized that it’s completely wrong to judge my son based on the old yardstick my parents used. In our parent’s days, Entrepreneurship wasn’t a thing of joy. Life was written in sequential order. Go to school, get education, earn a degree, graduate and look for a job. It wasn’t about starting your company. It was about looking for a job.

Today, the tide has changed. Digital revolution is taking place. The whole system is completely fizzled. The greatest car hire industry doesn’t have a car of its own. The biggest store doesn’t have a shop. Amazon works virtually yet has no physical store. We now have driver-less cars. You can now earn a degree without entering the class. It’s a crazy revolution.

We cannot afford to drive our kids hard without driving them smart. Unlike the old time of Hardwork, it should be SmartWork now. Hardwork won’t pay all the bills. Smartwork will.
It’s completely wicked to leave our kids at the same analogue mode of thinking and expect them to be better positioned than a child who schooled in Europe and comes back home to pick a lucrative job.

We need to help our kids sieve through the needless criteria and prioritize what is good what them. If we can’t give them the opportunity to see the world through another continent, we should not enmesh them in our old unproductive ways.

If we want a better future for our kids, we should give them a better script.