I never thought about this until I
watched that late night program on a local television station couple of weeks
back. The topic was Rape and how to Move on after it or something of sort.
Recently, I have started taking rape cases seriously after my experience with a
young lady that was raped by six different men.
Her trauma, tears, pains, bruises
and cries broke me down. I was totally broken. I was afraid for my own life and
at a point; people thought I was taking it too far. Well, you can’t really
blame me. I was the first person that got in touch with her after the rape incident
and cleaning the blood off her skin due to the iron belts that the perpetrators
used on her was by far the most dehumanizing experience I have ever witnessed.
That day, I got the full meaning of depression and I understand that it’s
possible to be depressed for someone else’s problem.
Due to this, I have taken Rape
issues, training, seminars and talks seriously. That particular night, the
guest that spoke on air was a victim too. She was raped from a very tender age
and the rape continued till she was a teenager.
She talked about how she felt it
was all her fault, how she would run to the bathroom to wash herself up as a small
girl and then stay there to cry. She said she felt like an outcast. She thought
the men saw her as a pretty girl so she made herself less pretty.
She is married now and when the
host asked her how she felt when her husband came along based on the fact that
she had to open up to the man about her past ordeal, she responded by saying “
My husband said he’s ready to walk with me and subdue all the fears. He understood
and it took me a long time to wholly accept him”
She went further by saying “You
know, it’s so funny how men can easily date and marry a lady who has history of
several boyfriends she has slept with than a lady who was raped”
That is where I am going exactly.
I started thinking, that sounds awkward but it’s true. Men would rather date a
late who is a serial lover with records of sex involved than a lady who was
raped by one, two or three men.
Why? The answer is simple, STIGMA.
The society has succeeded in placing monumental stigma on rape victims so much
that when we are supposed to embrace and care for them, we stigmatized and make
them look like a filthy rag. Unfortunately, this generation is worse off.
Then I ask again, who then is the
fool?
You would rather marry a woman
who has slept with 16 men and carry out numerous abortions than a woman who was
raped. What is your yardstick for measuring the two instances?
It’s unfortunate how we have
turned out to be. I sincerely think no woman will wake up and expect been
raped. We should lessen the burden on the shoulders of rape victims. They are
going through a lot already. We shouldn’t add to their burdens.
If we can’t build them then we
shouldn’t break them.
| RAPE is EVIL | RAPE IS BAD |
DON’T RAPE | STOP RAPE |STOP THE STIGMATIZATION AGAINT RAPE VICTIMS|
|Mide Pearl|
